


Remember (all the ways you fixed me)

by gostisbehere (castielsstarr)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dom Jamie, Face-Fucking, M/M, Past Abuse, Sub Ben, gentle face-fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 08:38:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielsstarr/pseuds/gostisbehere
Summary: Ben Bishop is new to the Stars. He knows that means submitting to his new captain and is expecting the same treatment as his previous teams. Their treatment of him wasn't good, but Is Jamie Benn different?





	Remember (all the ways you fixed me)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no ill will against the captain of either of Ben’s previous teams (I know there are more than two, I chose to ignore that for the sake of this). I actually quite like both of the guys, but this was the way this story chose to set itself up. The abuse by LA is not explicitly defined, but it’s there.

The first practice with the Stars went about as Bishop expected. Learning names, shaking hands, getting used to the way they ran their drills. Roussel and Seguin were the most welcoming of his new teammates—both stuck pretty close to Ben when they had a break, making conversation and getting to know him. It wasn’t that the other guys weren’t nice, they just seemed a little more hesitant of the new dynamic.

Kari was another story entirely. They had talked the day the trade went through and both were excited to see the other in a setting that didn’t have them on opposing teams. Kari had almost bowled him over when he came into the dressing room, hugging Ben tight and slapping his back. It helped knowing someone was on his side from the get-go. He had been nervous about stepping on toes with his friend since he was being brought in as a starter, but this made him more comfortable.

His new captain, though. That was something he was going to have to figure out. The man wasn’t cold to him, but aside from introducing himself with a polite smile and a handshake, Jamie Benn hadn’t spoken to him much. When Bishop had started with Tampa Bay, Stamkos had shown a bit more interest in him and Kopitar of LA spent the whole first day teasing him and pressing buttons until Bishop almost snapped.

That was the worst of the initiations he ever had. Anze had him fuming, ready to mouth off the next time he got anywhere near his net. When they came off the ice and Bishop had shed his kit, Kopitar crowded him against the wall, not following the protocol that Tampa had. He knew the drill, though, and even when he was ready to pick a fight, he still had to submit to his new captain. Stamkos hadn’t been gentle, but he’d at least been considerate.

What happened in LA wasn’t even that and it made him wary of Jamie’s quiet demeanor.

While Hitchcock ran down some points they’d need to work on the next day, Ben stripped off his practice jersey and the padding protecting his upper body. His underarmor was more than soaked through with sweat under his chest protector, but he knew he wouldn’t get a chance to shower until after Jamie had him.

The coaching staff left the guys to shower up and head home—Ben’s heart lept into his throat when the door to the locker room closed on their way out. Jamie was taking off the last of his padding and changing clothes, clearly getting ready for him, and maybe he could lessen the severity if he willingly submitted. It was the best option.

Before he could lose his nerve, Ben padded barefoot to Jamie’s stall where he was pulling off the last article of clothing until he stood in nothing but a pair of shorts like he always wore before heading to the showers.

“Hey, you did really good today.” 

The praise from the captain was unexpected given the circumstances. “Thanks.” Ben almost whispered it, but gave his words just a little more force. He refused to let Jamie see him scared. Jamie turned to grab his towel from his stall and this was going to be Ben’s moment to move.

Bishop was on his knees when the captain turned back, hands clasped behind him like he had been taught the first time he’d had to do this. Jamie didn’t look pleased, though. He was confused and a little shocked, and maybe he liked the sight of him down here like this, because his mouth parted. The din of chatter was fading one by one as everyone took in the sight of him.

“What are you doing?”

That wasn’t what he expected, either. “I… I’m ready.”

“Jesus Christ,” said a voice off to Jamie’s left but Ben didn’t look to see whose.

“Ready for wha—shit.” Jamie’s brown eyes went wide, wider than his own probably were. “Ben…”

He tried to smile just a little. Willingness could go a long way and maybe this wouldn’t end up so bad. “I can be good for you. I promise.”

Jamie was shifting nervously, looking like he didn’t know what to do with, not only his hands, but his entire body. “We, uh. We don’t do that here. Not since I’ve been captain.”

Oh. 

Honestly, he should have been thrilled that he wasn’t going to wake up physically bruised and a little emotionally battered tomorrow. No, instead the heart that had been in his throat took a dive through to the floor and he felt tears prickle his eyes. Jamie didn’t want him. He wasn’t a good enough fit for the team and they weren’t going to accept him. 

With eyes lowered to Jamie’s feet, he didn’t see the rest of the room anymore. He did hear Tyler softly say, “alright, let’s go, everybody out,” and there were the rustlings of people moving about again. He refused to lift his head, even after he heard the door close a final time and stay silent. His vision was starting to waver and his eyes burned and he’d be damned if he let Jamie see this.

The snuffle to clear his sinuses wasn’t disguised or subtle, but it did the trick to clear some of the tears from his eyes.

"I'd like it if you looked at me. Please?"

One more quick inhale and Ben shifted to meet Jamie's gaze, his eyes cleared but still a little damp.

"Thank you. Ben, I—this is—I don't..."

"It's ok, I'm sorry, I—"

"I mean—"

"I should have waited for you t—"

"Will you stop talking for five seconds?"

Bishop fell silent.

Jamie scrubbed a hand over his face and Ben knew this was the moment where he got chastised. It didn't matter for what—for embarrassing Jamie in front of the team, for assuming this organization was no different from the others, for—

"Do you need this?"

"What?"

He sunk down to a squat, level with Bishop and if Ben hadn't already been braced on his knees, his balance might have faltered. "This isn't something we do, but if you need this... I could help."

He meant to take his time responding, give them both a chance to think about the implications of this, but he nodded quickly. "Yes. Jamie, please." Ben was grappling for his hips when Jamie stood again—if he could just get him closer, he would be able to get those shorts off.

Jamie stepped forward but there was a sharp tug at Ben's hair that had him tilting his face up. It was a command to stop and he did, keeping a few fingers curled inside the waistband of his captain's pants.

"Easy, easy. I said this isn't something we do and I meant it. I know what happens with some of the other teams and that's not what's gonna happen here." His grip loosened and he gently scratched the base of Ben's skull in what seemed like an apology. "Now that you're here in Dallas, I'm gonna take care of you."

There was something in the way Jamie said "Dallas" that resonated with him and felt more like "home." With a six-year contract, he was home now, wasn’t he? He'd probably end his career with this team and the thought warmed through his chest.

His attention was pulled back by a single-finger tap to his shoulder. "Did you hear what I asked?"

Ben shook his head

"Do you have a non-verbal safeword?"

"...no. I don't, um. I don't have a verbal one either."

Jamie didn't look surprised. "Think about it. If this is going to happen again, I need you to have both. For now, though—" Ben's right hand was physically removed from where it had been weighing Jamie's shorts into exposing a little extra hipbone. "I want you to tap me with two fingers if you need to stop for any reason. Like this." He curled Ben's fingers into a fist, leaving index and middle straight before demonstrating the signal against the outside of his thigh. "I promise, I _will_ stop."

God, he wanted this even though he knew he shouldn’t. "Jamie. C-can I?"

"No." Ben's face fell but Jamie was quick to pet a thumb across his cheek. "You'll take what I give you, when I think you're ready."

He shivered—from the words, from Jamie’s gentle touch, and from the way Jamie palmed himself through his pants. The visible half-chub that was clearly working its way to full hardness made Ben shift on his knees. He was hard himself now—something he had never been before with his other teams when put in this situation.

The touch along his cheek was gone, but it was worth it to see those basketball shorts being pulled down to mid thigh, exposing Jamie’s cock. If he leaned forward just a hair’s breadth, he’d be able to lick the head with the very tip of his tongue, but if Jamie wanted him to wait, then he would.

“Very good. Stay still for me, ok? Just like that.” 

Thick hands were back in his hair and it was hard to keep his eyes open when he was being pet like this. It was soothing and the last of the knots in his chest and stomach were easing away. Jamie didn’t seem like he was going to hurt him and… Ben wanted to trust him. 

“You can close your eyes for right now if you need to, but open your mouth for me?” His voice was gentle and it sent a tingle soothing over the wounds that LA had left him with.

Ben let them slip closed, his mind already starting to drift a little, but he opened his mouth like he was asked. His tongue was resting against the inside of his lower lip and there was a soft curse from Jamie. Ben knew how he looked like this—he’d seen the pictures Stamkos had taken of him in Tampa.

Soft skin rubbed over his bottom lip, smearing the bitterness of Jamie’s precome that Ben couldn’t help tasting from the slit. Gasps came from both of them before Jamie canted his hips forward, the head of his cock resting solidly on his tongue.

“Suck.”

His lips closed around the tip, sucking gently, which made Jamie’s breath ragged and his knees buckle just a bit. Ben knew he was good at this part; taking his teammates in his mouth was how he preferred it if he could manage.

Jamie cursed and a shiver ran through him when Ben’s tongue flicked over the bundle of nerves on the underside of his cock. “Can you take more?”

Without pulling away or stopping he nodded. Jamie's hand closed around his chin and jaw, the tips of his fingers resting just at the top of his throat, and how had Ben not realized his hands were that big? The grip was strong and it didn't feel right to fight this. If he was being honest, he was hoping Jamie would go ahead and take what he needed—what they both needed—but like everything else, this pace was beyond his control.

"Remember the signal if you want me to stop."

The "please" got muffled as Jamie thrust more of his length into Ben's mouth at the same moment. It was shallow enough that he could continue to work his tongue against the length, but Jamie held control of his motions. He tried to bob his head once, but the grip had tightened on both sides of his jaw and Ben realized that Jamie wasn't going to allow him to move.

Everything was slow and so unlike his previous captains. Jamie's thrusts were measured. Ben's own breathing was calm. Part of him wondered if Jamie had any intention of getting off until one thrust, deeper than the rest, nudged the back of Ben’s throat, making him cough.

"Is this something they had you do back in Tampa?" The surface question was placed between them and both knew what was really being asked.

_Have you ever had someone's cock forced down your throat?_

Ben groaned and let his eyes fall closed again, needing Jamie to push forward the rest of the way. 

He didn't. Jamie removed his cock, forcing Ben’s eyes open at the loss. He wanted to chase it, get it back where he had a feeling it was going to be a lot more often, but the grip stayed strong, keeping him in place.

"Keep your eyes on me if you can. I need to see how you're doing."

He nodded and that was enough of an acknowledgement that Jamie was pressing back between his lips, not stopping when he hit the back of Ben's throat this time. It brought fresh tears to the corners of his eyes but Ben tried his best to breath through the spasms of an aborted cough. He could control this. He could be good.

Jamie slid out after just a few seconds, giving Ben a chance to pull in a deep breath before he was sliding home again. It didn't take as many thrusts as he had anticipated for his body to relax into it. Each roll of Jamie’s hips was sharp but slow, allowing him time to adjust. Taking the full length of Jamie's dick wasn't easy—he didn't expect it would be—but he wasn’t afraid.

Things were different now. He didn’t need to be scared. The way Jamie was looking at him as his thrusts sped up proved that. It was caring and gentle, even though the motions were rough. The likelihood was high that his voice was going to be a little fucked tomorrow, but he wanted it that way. It was proof of what happened between them.

“Do I— _fuck_ , Ben—need to pull out?”

Ben’s hands flew to Jamie’s hips and help him closer, pushing Jamie fully into his throat so his lips were nestled around the base of his cock.

“Shit, shit, I’m gonna come,” Jamie whispered and tightened his hold, the vibrations of Ben’s moan pulled him over the edge and he was panting as his orgasm spilled down Ben’s throat.

His movements stilled soon after and Jamie pulled out. Both of them were trying to catch their breath. It was just a couple of moments before Jamie opened his mouth to speak, but Ben beat him to it.

“I’m good,” he said and nodded as Jamie ran his hand through his short hair. “Thank you.”

“Come home with me tonight.”

Shit, he was going to have to get used to being surprised with the things his captain said. “What?”

“I’m not taking no. Your previous teams didn’t take care of you. I’m not making that mistake.”

Nothing sounded better.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on Tumblr, I promise I don't bite:  
> General hockey blog: [gostisbhere.tumblr.com](http://www.gostisbhere.tumblr.com)  
> Shipping hockey blog: [mousemarns](http://www.mousemarns.tumblr.com)


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